Thanks, Across Cultures: Chapter 1
I remember the day I met Jacek Holzwieser. He thought I was someone else, I thought he was just another ignorant European boy.
It’s funny how our first impressions often veer so far from the truth. In the case of Jacek’s and my meeting on that sunny Singapore afternoon, we instinctively gravitated toward our respective cultural stereotypes. As I greeted this blonde-haired blue-eyed dazzler, he interrupted my proper introduction, overconfidently stating, “We’ve met already. At the beach, remember?” Well, as we later came to discover, that beach meeting never took place…not with me, at least. That was another Asian girl. To his defense, she was tan and Taiwanese. So it wasn’t too far of a stretch…
Flash forward 2 years. Captain (my adoring nickname for Jacek) is married to a beautiful Mexican-American woman named Stephanie. They live in Austria and he works for a renowned bank. I was lucky enough to attend Jacek and Stephanie’s wedding in the cozy Polish town of Zakopane. Nestled in the mountains and adorned with wooden log cabins, the picturesque tourist haven is recommended as a place of healing for people with lung discomfort or anxiety. I could see why; the air of calm instantly pervaded my lungs with a fresh sense of being!
As I inhaled the cool air - remarkably cool at 40 degree temperatures for September - I reveled in the awe-inspiring nature of this event. Two years before, I barely knew the groom, merely thinking he was a sleaze who had a lot to learn about culture outside his Austrian bubble.
I realize now that I was the one who learned.
The wedding was a truly international affair. People of Polish, Austrian, Mexican, American, and Asian descent attended. The ceremony and reception were translated into four languages: German, Polish, Spanish, and English. The only thing that beat the diversity was the food. Traditional Polish weddings proceed in a very simple fashion: food, toasts, dancing, food, dancing, food, dancing, food…drinks are present at all times. Get me to more Polish weddings!
The fanfare was one thing. But alas, there is more significance to this story. Let’s return to the groom’s pre-marital days. What began as an annoyance toward this impish character for misconstruing my identity, of course, only grew into an affection of sorts. An affection that could only be reserved for the big brother I never had. We traveled together, ate together, sat under the stars together, talked about life together. We became best friends. I arrived in Singapore so young and naive, expecting to diligently attend to my studies. I left having barely touched my books, yet smarter. I was still young and naive, but a lot more open to the world and willing to defy arbitrary rules. Never would I dare to freeload off the subway in America, but in disciplinary “we cane people for chewing gum on the streets” Singapore, that’s exactly what I did. Captain and I would run through the handicap entrance gates on one ticket. We would go on nightlong food escapades, sampling copious amounts of Singapore goodies for free, and getting full off them. Any previous inhibitions I held about my weight were digested as I swallowed mooncake #I-don’t-want-to-know. I let go, for I realized that life just wasn’t as tasty if you were constantly worrying about your sample intake at the FREE buffet of life. And though I returned a bit heavier, I would never trade those extra pounds for what I ultimately learned from Captain: how to be alive.
Since I’m now on this mission to cultivate more gratitude, I thought I would thank Jacek and Stephanie for their most recent hospitality in Austria. On second thought, I owe them a lot more than a housewarming gift. Their relationship, which crosses geographic, cultural, and language boundaries, is a perfect example of living bravely in today’s modern world. She left her close-knit family in California behind for love. He wrestles with the possibility of eventually moving to America, despite the great job he enjoys now. They face challenges, sometimes with even the most fundamental of communication. But they love on. In a world where people get divorced as quickly as they can find fault with each other’s words, Jacek and Stephanie’s persistence toward achieving the highest form of love and trust in the institution of marriage is inspiring. Thank you.
Two years ago, Jacek taught me how to love life. Now, through their own example, he and Stephanie will teach others how to love one another, against the odds.
Thank you.
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